I wanna tell you a story

There once was a boy named JME, who wanted to be Class Historian for the Williams College Class of 2004. Ewas a dear little boy, who liked very much to play with trucks, and philosophy, and sometimes even himself (though more often, as of late). Everyone who knew Jcalled him names, like "CJ" or made fun of him to his face, or behind his back. However, because this was Williams College and not high school, nobody got shot. Nobody got hurt, either, unless you think E's feelings was somebody.

See, because of an extended snafu with the election system, E actually ran unopposed for Class Historian. But, when the voting stopped, he not only did not have a clear majority, he was facing a run-off!

Candidate: 2004: Overall: Comments:

JME101 (40.08%) 101 (40.08%) Run-Off

*Maria E Lapetina 77 (30.56%) 77 (30.56%) Run-Off

* = write-in candidate
TOTALS: 252 252 [46.24% participation]

For the sake of simplicity, I removed the other minor candidates, but there were a variety of individuals who got 5 or so votes (around 2% of the electorate per...)

For a couple days, the campus held its collective breath, wondering who would win this coveted spot--JE, the only candidate with a self-nom, or Maria Lapetina, the upstart write-in candidate?

Then, like rain after thunder, the run-off was complete:

Candidate: 2004: Overall: Comments:

JME 81 (31.52%) 81 (31.52%) Not-Elected

Maria E Lapetina 176 (68.48%) 176 (68.48%) Winner

TOTALS: 257 257 [47.16% participation]

And so, everyone got what they wanted. The senior class elected the person who could save them from JME, who lost the popularity contest he tried to run. The human tragedy of an unhinged Espeech was averted, a suitably bland speech was insured, the social order stayed put, just the way it should be. God was in his heaven, and all was right with the world. But I wonder, sitting here, should we have given any thought to the kid who lost an unopposed election? Should we feel pity for him? Or should we laugh at the comic immensity of such an achievement?

I'm all for laughing. As the wise man said, tragedy is bad things happening to you and comedy is bad things happening to someone else.